Quotes of the Week #7

"He has always been in my thoughts."
Gerard Houllier on Michael Owen. Sounds a bit gay dunnit.

"To captain Scotland is the pinnacle of your career, is it not?"
Barry Ferguson. I can think of better things

"Is Arsene more advanced than me in terms of coaching? Not a chance."
Big Sam. Yes, thats Sam Allardyce saying he's better than Arsene Wenger! What a mug!

"I've watched the free-kick since and Torres definitely made a meal of it. There's absolutely no doubt. He tried to get our player sent off."
Alex Ferguson ignoring the fact that Nani spent half the game falling over with every strong gust of wind

"This is biased reporting, this is biased information, this is a conspiracy against Pakistan cricket."
Ijaz Butt (Chairman of Pakistan Cricket Board). So it's a conspiracy but there is video evidence proving it!

"If you have a cancerous problem you go to the root of it."
Ian Botham says Pakistan should be banned from Cricket for the time being

"I wasn't going to pot the black because to make 147 and not really get a nice bonus was a bit disappointing because they are magical moments and they deserve magical bonuses."
Ronnie O'Sullivan. He left the final black while on 140 because there wasn't a prize for getting a 147 before the ref convinced him to pot it

MUGS OF THE WEEK

My mate Daniel: 'Newcastle tomorrow night'
My mate Matt: 'Yeah but that is pretty much a done deal'
They lost 4-3. Haha

BOARDROOM NEWS

David Sullivan says West Ham's old owners ran up debt on massive player contracts: "No one can blame the players for accepting the overgenerous contracts they were offered." (Also this month: Sullivan hands Scott Parker a four-year, £14.5m deal. Parker says he signed because of the fans: "The fans mean a lot to me. If you ask any player, the most important thing is being appreciated by the fans.")

NOT BEING SACKED

Avram Grant. "This will be reported as a vote of confidence," says David Gold, "but I assure you it is a proper one. Avram's job is safe."
(April: David Gold: "Gianfranco [Zola] has been through hell and back. But he knows he is part of West Ham. We couldn't ask for any more. I'll be asking him what he needs from us for next season." May: Sacks him.)

STAND BY YOUR PRINCIPLES

Real Mallorca say shirt sponsor Bet-at-home "crossed the line" with press ad campaigns using "explicit sex and drug themes", including one depicting pitch markings being snorted. Jaume Cladera said: "We will deal with this firmly. We are a sports institution: we want nothing to do with vice." Will the club cancel the £500k deal? "Well we won't do anything hasty."

SLAVE NEWS

Milan defender Massimo Oddo on why Serie A players could strike over a new contract structure aimed at stopping players running down their contracts to secure lucrative free transfers. "We are tired of being treated like objects." (Oddo's contract: £1.25m a year).

SVEN NEWS

January: Athole Still on client Sven's reputation. "For so long the media have tried to portray Sven as only in it for the money but nothing could be further from the truth. He's a football man."
September: Sven agrees to coach Al Hilal, say reports in Saudi Arabia. Salary for one season: £1.2m

HYPOCRIT OF THE WEEK

Staying vigilant: Sam Allardyce says Arsène Wenger is "very clever": "In saying people are trying to injure players he's trying, through the media, to influence referees."
2009: Sam previews Blackburn's game against Everton: "Most of the time Tim Cahill plays the man before the ball. It's whether the referee sees it. Sometimes they don't when a player is that clever."

More quotes next week