Funny Sports Picture #2

Seeing as its Wimbledon at the moment...

No matches today and tomorrow

There were no matches today as the World Cup has a 2 day break before the quarter finals take place on Friday and Saturday. I don't really mind though as both the 3pm fixtures look like they could be unmissable:

Friday 3pm- Holland vs Brazil

vs

Saturday 3pm- Argentina vs Germany

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Funny Sports Pictures #1

Shaquille O'Neal (not Irish) is 7ft 1". Earl Boykins is 5ft 5"

Last 16 Games 7 & 8

Villa sends Ronaldo packing

David Villa became the joint top goalscorer in the World Cup with the only goal against Portugal. Christiano Ronaldo received little support and didn't make much of an impact as creative football beat defensive and boring. After a stutter against Switzerland, Spain have gone from strength to strength and look set to make the Semi-Final with a tie against Paraguay in the quarter final.

That's how you do it Christiano

Japan go out on Pens
The Blue Samurais went out after a penalty shoot out against Paraguay. Both sides had decent chances with Paraguay going closest to scoring but Komano's miss allowed Cardozo to slot his penalty home and take Paraguay into a quarter final against Spain

He has to go...

Fabio faced up to the press after the humiliation

nicely done

Murray going strong

Andy Murray progressed into the quarter finals with 3 set win over Sam Querrey who won Queens just last week

In other news, Holland and Brazil both won easily but I'm still depressed about yesterday so can't really be bothered to do the highlights...

Sepp Blatter shows it was not a goal

I know we were well beaten but Germany's 3rd and 4th goals were scored on the counter while we were trying to get an equaliser. If Lampard's has been counted, we'd have set up differently in the 2nd half...could have been different. F*ck sepp and his cronies

England vs Germany Analysis

That has to be one of the worst england performances I have ever had to watch. I wasn't around for 1966 so now have only felt pure embaressment when it comes to playing the Germans. I'm almost lost for words at the 4 performanes during the World Cup, but here are a few...

DEFENDING

The defending was woeful against Germany. You wont see strikers scoring from goalkicks in Sunday league matches! Upson failed to follow the man but Terry was completely out of position and not in line with his fellow centre back. The other 3 goals were down to poor marking and positioning...the Germans couldn't believe their luck. We have kept 2 clean sheets but they were against Algeria and Slovenia FFS and today we were destroyed by the pace and creativity of Oezil, Klose and Podolski. As Lineker put it when ending the post-match analysis on BBC 'England should have had a goal, but they have no defence...literally!'

ROONEY

Wayne Rooney was going to be the man to lead us to the World Cup. A lot of pressure was on the young scouser but everyone presumed he'd be up to the challenge having coped so well all season playing for Man United. He has been fairly crap all tournament, didn't look fit, frustrated and completely out of sorts. 3 goals scored this tournament, only 1 by a striker, 0 for Rooney

LINESMAN

Yes, we deserved to get beat, but I can't help feeling that if we'd gone into half time at 2-2, it could have been so different in the 2nd half. It doesn't matter if the linesman isn't in line with the goal line, the England bench saw it go in, the fans saw it go on, we saw it go in! The ball was so far over the line it was nearly in Rustenberg where England should have been playing Ghana. I think we exhausted our luck with the incredibly lucky draw we had (if we'd just won our group). Although England have lost out here, unless Blatter and his chums take this as a prime example why goal line technology is needed, it will be football that suffers in the long run. As lawro so beautifully put it...'what is it FIFA don't want, technology, thanks very much Sepp Blatter'. Well said that man!

FORMATION

Fabio's biggest mistake I feel was the formation. Above, is the team I would have played if I were manager (if only) and I believe the team the England players were asking Fabio to try. It allows Cole & Johson to get forward, Rooney is playing his favourite role up front by himself, Gerrard plays his favourite role and puts Rooney in on goal, Barry cleans up loose balls, Lampard can support Gerrard and J Cole and Milner can go wide and cross or cut in and shoot.
The formation Fabio went with created so many problems:
1. Rooney wasn't allowed the freedom he has at United. He was picking the ball up 20 yards outside the area. He should be making runs into the area and receiving the ball with back to goal from Gerrard
2. Gerrard was playing on the wing but kept strolling into the middle of the park (his natural position). This meant, we never had any width and the midfield was so densly packed in the middle, teams were easily able to counter attack down the wings (Germany did so 3 or 4 times today)
3. Because Fabio insists on playing 4-4-2, Cole and Johnson aren't able to get forward and play short passes with the midfielders giving England even less width

CAPELLO

The main reason for our World Cup failure has to lie with the manager. Capello has got it completely wrong for me and I would not mind seeing him go back to Italy. His inability to befriend players has led to tension in the camp (strict, authoritive and stubborn) and I can't help comparing him to Robson, England's most successful manager since '66, who was a great man manager and got on well with the whole team. Some of the substitutions have been awful such as bringing Crouch on with only 5 mins to go against Algeria and bringing on Heskey today when we desperately needed goals (thats right Fabio, when you're in need of goals, bring on a man who couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat...and I'm pretty sure we had no possession at all once he came on).

English football now faces a serious problem. Several of the current squad wont be around for the 2012 Euros and if the FA decide they want Fabio gone, it'll cost a small £10 million to pay off his contract (2 more years left). In my opinion, we need an English manager who gets on well with players and brings the best out of them. The FA needs to give them a 2 year contract (can be added to if results are good) and challenge them to be the next Alf Ramsey. Or we should do an X Factor style phone in where the public decides on the team and formation...I quite like the sound of that

Please, please, no penalties!

Day 16 Highlights 26/6

Uruguay snatch victory

The South American side were the first to qualify for the last 16 as they beat South Korea 2-1 and go on to face Ghana in the quarter finals. The 2nd best diego at the World Cup crossed for Suarez to finish on 8 minutes but midway through the second half Lee Chung-Yong equalised for the asian side. 10 minutes from the end, Suarez claimed his second with a brilliant strike to put Uruguay through

Looks like he's having his balls squeezed

Ghana pull through in extra-time

Ghana became only the 3rd african side to reach the quarter finals of a World Cup with a 2-1 win over USA. The Yanks, who somehow won Group C after some certain England performances, went behind early when Kevin Prince Boateng found the bottom corner from the edge of the area. Donovan became the highest ever US World Cup scorer with a penalty to take the game into extra time but Gyan got the party started with a good finish at the start of extra time

James just happy to be playing

Come on lads...smile like James!

Isner thrashed after marathon

John Isner, who yesterday beat Nicolas Mahut 70-68 in the 5th set of their first round match, was unsuprisingly thrashed by Thiemo De Bakker today. He lost 6-0, 6-3, 6-2 in 75 minutes in a match where he failed to serve an ace having hit 112 against Mahut in the marathon match

He must be tired!

Day 15 Highlights 25/6

Brazil and Portugal qualify
Two great sides contested a very dull game as Brazil and Portugal looked uninspiring during a 0-0 draw which saw both sides qualify for the last 16. Juan was booked for handling a 40 yard ball which would have seen Ronaldo in on goal and Nilmar hit the bar after a great save from Eduardo. With this result, in the other game, Ivory Coast needed a 10 goal win against North Korea which, eventhough it would have been like the greatest thing ever if it happened, they failed to do and unfortunately Sven and Drogba will be heading home (how sad! :))

Spain top group and face Portugal

The European champions edged past an impressive Chile with goals from David Villa and Iniesta. Spain went ahead when Chile's goalkeeper decided to run 30 yards and slide tackle Torres with the ball rolling off to Villa who gladfully finished from 40 yards. Iniesta finished off a smart move before Chile nicked a goal back but their fate lay in Switzerland's hands who needed a win to claim second place. The Swiss however failed to beat Honduras (ya know, that crap team that everyone beats) with a 0-0 result. The incredibly boring side beat Spain one day...can't beat Honduras the other...cheerio!

Great shot by David Villa...still don't know what the keeper was doing

Isner wins marathon match

John Isner beat Nicolas Mahut 70-68 in the marathon match which lasted 11 hours and 5 minutes over 3 days. Play resumed at 59-59 and both men held before Isner finally struck in game 138. Both players and the umpire were given awards after the match. So, now this has finished, we can all turn back over the football...sorry Wimbledon

Day 14 Highlights 24/6

Italy Crash out of World Cup

The World champions have fallen at the first hurdle as they lost to Slovakia 3-2 to finish bottom of Group F. The Italians only needed a draw to qualify but went 2 goals down due to some (please add Alan Hanson accent ) 'terrible defending'. Di Natale made it 2-1 before Kopunek restored Slovakia's two goal advantage. Quagliarella's exquisite 92nd minute chip gave the Italians hope and Pepe missed a chance right at the death which would have given them qualification. In the end, Slovakia went through along with Paraguay whose 0-0 draw with New Zealand meant they topped the group with the Kiwis finishing third

Fabio Cannavaro wipes away the tears...awww!

Holland convincing as Denmark go out
Denmark had to beat Japan to qualify for the last 16 however they got off to the worst start when Honda's brilliant free kick was misjudged by Sorensen. On 30mins, Endo put the game virtually beyonf reach with a brilliant curling free kick but the Danes weren't done yet. Even with 'Barn Door' Bendtner contributing very little, they pushed on and won a penalty which Tomasson missed but (only just) converted the rebound. It was all too little too late for the Danes and Japan ended a convincing performance with a goal from Okazaki after a great run by Honda. In the other game of the group, Holland were already winners, Cameroon were already losers. The game finished 2-1 as Van Persie and Huntelaar scored for the Dutch with Eto'o scoring a pen for Cameroon.

Honda's free kick

Beckenbauer has another swipe

Franz Beckenbauer has had another swipe at England saying 'The English look a tired team...they are burnt out'. The comments come a week after Beckenbauer attacked England's style of play saying they had 'gone backwards into the bad old days of kick and rush'.

It goes without saying I want us to beat the Germans, but I want it even more now, just so this smug prick will shut up and realise that his country lost to Serbia (we were unbeaten) and they only just qualified after a 1-0 against Ghana. Pin up the comments in the dressing room fabio!

Oi! Beckenbauer!

Match stopped at 59-59 in 5th set

You may not have noticed with the World Cup ongoing that there is a big tennis tournament at the moment in Wimbledon and today, one of the most amazing tennis matches of all time took place on Court 18.

Last night (tuesday), Josh Isner (USA) and Nicolas Muhut (FRA) started their first round singles match and at around 2pm today (wednesday), entered the 5th and final set of a tense match with the score at 4-6, 6-3, 7-6, 6-7. There had only been 2 breaks of serve so far and when the game reached 6-6, there are no tie-breaks in the 5th set, so they continued until one player went 2 games clear.


Some amazing serving saw play suspended with the score 59-59 in the Final set with no breaks of serve. Some of the records set by the match are:

• Most aces (Mahut 95, Isner 98)


• Longest Match (10 hours and counting)


• Total games in a final set at Wimbledon (previous record 24-22)
  

Both players were given a standing ovation at 50-50 and then another as they left the court after Mahut claimed he could no longer see the ball clearly. 6ft 9" Isner was clearly shattered however Mahut, ranked 148, looked suprisingly fresh even after 100 games had been played.

The men have now played more games in this set than Serena Williams played in the whole tournament last year when she won the Ladies Singles. After the game, Isner said 'He's serving fantastic, I'm serving fantastic. Nothing like this will ever happen again'.

The game is set to continue tomorrow on Court 18 but with both players serving so well, could well go on for much longer

Day 13 Highlights 23/6

Defoe seals England's qualification
Credit where credit's due...well done Fabio, you made the changes which were neeeded. It was great to see Upson alongside Terry, Milner had a great game and Defoe scored. I still thought Gerrard should be playing behind Rooney but we played well with the diamond midfield behind the pace and skill of Rooney and Defoe. Eventhough it was important to win, I can't help but feel annoyed that instead of searching for a 2nd goal which would have won us the group, we decided to run the clock down and settle for 1-0. Consequently, we now face Germany instead of Ghana. I'm sure it'll be a great game but whereas before, to reach the semis, we needed to play Ghana then Uraguay/South Korea we now have to play Germany and ArgentinaUSA get last minute winner

The Yanks scored in the last minute against Algeria to go from 3rd place to 1st at that point in Group C. England vs Slovenia ended 3 minutes before America's game so as far as the Slovenians were concerned, they were sure they'd qualified. However, they then found out what'd happened and the US will go through to play Ghana in the next round

I'm sure you all saw Defoe's goal so here is Landon Donovan's stoppage time winner which meant the US topped the group on Goals scored

Germany win to set up clash with England

Zi Germanz beat Ghana thanks to a 30 yard strike from Mesut Ozil which means they top the group and face England on sunday. It was a close game with both sides knowing that they could be knocked out with Serbia facing Australia in the other game. The 1-0 result meant Serbia needed a 1-1 to qualify but were beaten by Australia 2-1 thanks to a Cahill header and a screamer from Brett Holman. The Aussies were denied qualification by their poor goal difference (lost 4-0 to Germany in their first game) meaning Serbia finished last having beaten Germany.

Ozil with a great strike

You know it's the World Cup when...

This is bloody ridiculous

Day 12 Highlights 22/6

France Crash out in disgrace

'Les imposteurs' ended their tournament with a loss against South Africa and headed back to France today in economy class (yeh thats right, you're so shit you've got to travel in economy!) Captain Patrice Evra wasnt present as Khumalo and Mphela scored for Bafana Bafana and Gourcuff was sent off for France. The French scored a consolation goal through Malouda but it was all too late in a tournament marred by Anelka being sent home, fights between players and staff and constant criticism from the press. In the other game in Group B, Uraguay finished in style beating Mexico to finish on 7 points and set up a fixture with South Korea

Anelka who was sent home and Captain Patrice Evra who had a fight in training with (trainer) Robert Duverne

Argentina score maximum points

Maradona's side finished their group with 9 points after beating Greece 2-0. Papastathopoulos (it was fun seeing Lineker/Hanson/Dixon avoid saying his name) will probably follow Messi to bed as he tracked him most of the game apart from some genius moment from the maestro. Demichelis showed even Argentina's crap players can score and Martin Palermo showed what England will be up against in the Quarters (only if we beat 'zi germanz')

Nigeria miss chance to qualify

Nigeria totally blew it as they failed to qualify after a 2-2 draw with South Korea. They needed to win the game and got off to a great chance when Uche put them ahead. Korea went ahead after an equaliser from Lee Jung-Soo and some awful keeping which allowed Park Chu-Young to score his free kick. At 2-1, Yakubu committed the worst World Cup miss ever (and possibly in the world). He went onto convert a penalty but it wasn't enough for the African side

Yakubu with the worst World Cup miss ever

World Cup Joke

First of this new feature

(if you got any...send them to the e-mail addresses on the right)

The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town yesterday..."It's heartbreaking to see their sad faces with no hope" said Jamal, Aged 6

Cheers Dave

Day 11 Highlights 21/6

Portugal hammer Korea

Portugal thrashed North Korea is a performance more brutal than a Conservative Budget putting 7 goals past the Commy side. The game was fairly even in the first half with Raul Miereles putting Portugal ahead to go into half time 1-0 ahead. However, in the second half Porugal ran riot with Simoa, Almeida, Tiago, Liedson and Ronaldo all getting on the scoresheet. Apparently, it was the first game North Korea television agreed to televise and after the game, the presenter said 'Thats the end' and cut away to factory workers praising Kim Jong Il

Tit

Spain back on track
Spain got their World Cup record back on the right path beating Honduras 2-0 with 2 goals from David Villa. Having suffered the embaressment of losing their first game to Switzerland, they never looked in trouble against Honduras (were 10,000/1 to win the World Cup at the start of the tournament...odds are probably longer now). They looked strong and with Fabregas and Arbeloa on the bench and received good news as Switzerland were beaten 1-0 by Chile. The results mean that Spain look likely to top the group if they beat Chile but will either play Portugal or Brazil in the next round

Banker plays in World Cup

In the 92nd minute of New Zealand vs Italy, Ricki Herbert put on midfielder Andy Barron who, when he's not on World Cup duty, is a Banker in Wellington. The amateur footballer who works for Westpac Bank came on in the last few minutes to face the likes of Cannavaro, Buffon, De Rossi and Zambrotta. Having featured in New Zealand's win over Bahrain to qualify for the World Cup, Barron was seen ironing his shirt for work at the Bank the next day!

Here are some other interesting stats:

• Italy has 4.9 million footballers (population of NZ is 3 million)...New Zeland has 200,000 footballers


• Of these, Italy has 3541 professionals...New Zealand has 25


• The Italian side are valued at £160million and from the bench can bring on Camoranesi who plays for Juventus...NZ can bring on Jeremy Christie who plays for Tampa Bay Rowdies or Barron who plays for Team Wellington

Barron said of the NZ team 'We've got a couple of stars, the Ryan Nelsons and that. But we're made up of hard workers and we grind out results- like we have in our first 2 games'

Barron getting ready to go to the Bank after helping New Zealand reach the World Cup

Day 10 Highlights 20/6

Kiwis get a point against World Champs
If last weeks last minute equaliser against Slovakia wasnt enough, yesterday New Zealand went 1-0 up against Italy thanks to a Smeltz header. The Kiwis only led for 22 minutes before De Rossi decided that, having had his shirt touched, he'd fall to the floor like a little bitch. Anyway, the referee was fooled and Iaquinta converted the penalty to leave things level at the break. Some superb defending from Ryan Nelson saw NZ hold on for a shock result and they nearly won it at the end when Wood's shot was inches away.

Paraguay look good for qualification
Paraguay took a big step towards the last 16 with a 2-0 win over Slovakia which almost certainly eliminates the Europeans who face Italy in their last game. The South Americans played some nice football scoring good goals through Vera and Riveros. The win means a draw is enough to qualify but will face a tough New Zealand side who will need to win

Brazil lay down the gauntlet
Brazil were impressive in a 3-1 win over the Ivory Coast as Luis Fabiano scored 2 decent goals either side of half time. Elano added a third on 62 minutes however the main talking point was Kaka's sending off. Keita ran into the Brazilian midfielder who when raising his arm slightly to protect himself, touched Keita's chest. Having shouted at the tv earlier after De Rossi's antics against NZ, I couldn't quite believe it as Keita went one better and started acting like he'd just received a punch from Mike Tyson while receiving electric shocks...twat. Kaka recieved his second yellow and got his marching orders...

It is hard to feel sorry for the Brazilians though after these amateur dramatics from Rivaldo in 2002

Said and done

I'll admit it, I am nicking these from The Guardian but if you haven't seen them, some are very funny...

Numbers Game

• 72: number of marked-up match tickets a German tout tried to sell in Johannesberg. Fifa- 'We will prosecute all those trying to exploit the World Cup. Fifa's tough action will stop fans being cheated




• 4,500: number of marked up World Cup tickets Fifa Vice President Jack Warner's family company tried to sell in 2006 for a £500,000 profit. Sepp Blatter- 'Jack is a wonderful, loyal friend! He's a very competent man!

Quote of the week

• £2.56bn: 'Expected FIFA revenue from 2011 until the Brazil 2014 World Cup. Fifa general secretary Jerome Valcke- 'We are not rich. Yes, we are making quite good money- but thats the only money we have'

Best Debut

Fifa President Sepp Blatter has been using Twitter. He posted yesterday 'please send me your messages'. He is still yet to reply to the questions

• 'How much money has Jack Warner made by selling tickets compared to 4 years ago'?
• 'Arresting women because they wear an orange dress...what kind of gestapo are you running?' (after 36 dutch women arrested for wearing dresses given to them by Bavaria beer co.)
• 'Thanks for ruining World Football...isn't it about time to retire?'

T-Shirts on sale in Cape Town

Day 9 Highlights 19/6

Rommedahl stars for Denmark

Dennis Rommedahl scored one and made one as Denmark came back from 1-0 down to beat Cameroon. Some shocking defending from the Danes allowed Samuel Eto'o to score an easy goal but they failed to convert the chances they had during the rest of the game. On 33 minutes, Rommedahl's perfect cross was converted by Bendtner before Denmark completed the turn-around when Rommedahl beat his defender before placing his shot in the bottom corner. They now face Japan on Thursday to decide who goes through to the last 16

Netherland seal place in Last 16

Holland beat Japan 1-0 to go through to the next round with a goal from Wesley Sneijder. The dutch are now unbeaten in 21 games and looked comfortable against a defensive Japanese side. In Group D, Ghana and Australia drew 1-1 meaning Germany must beat Ghana next week to win the group or may end up facing England (as long as we get our bloody act together and beat Slovenia)

Day 8 Highlights 18/6

Crap England can only manage a draw

England were absolutely awful last night. We lacked creativity, class or finishing from apparently some of the best players in the world against Algeria. I'm not telling him how to do his job (well, atually I am) but Fabio needs to realise that Rooney should be playing up front on his own with Gerrard behind him. He needs to have Joe Cole and Lennon/Milner on the wings with Lampard and Barry playing in front of the defence. Playing the same team and tactics, we will be hard pushed to beat Slovenia and we need to score more goals than USA do against Algeria or we'll find ourselves playing Germany in the next round. Sort it out Fabio!

USA robbed against Slovenia

In the other game in our group, Slovenia took an unexected 2 goal lead showing they could cause England some problems. USA came back with goals from Donovan and Bradley (the manager's son) however they were robbed of a winner when Edu's finish from Donovan's free kick was disallowed. On the replay, there were no evident fouls and some very funny scenes in bars all over America where it took 2 or 3 minutes for the histerics to stop and fans to realise it wasn't a goal. Haha

Germans lose to Serbia

Germany were dealt a massive blow as they lost to Serbia in their second match of the tournament. It is always great to see the Germans lose however it does mean that they must beat Ghana in their final game to qualify top of the group. If not, as long as England can beat Slovenia, we may end up playing them in the last 16...not a great thought.

Well that was utter crap!