Tuesday 31 August 2010

Quotes of the Week #4

"Davids is as fit as a fiddle and has a real hunger and passion for the game."
Sky Sports News' Peter Beagrie on Palace's new signing

"I merely ask that the next player who rolls up at St Andrews for transfer talks wants to live in Birmingham, wants to play for Birmingham and wants to give his all for the cause."
A Birmingham fan on new signings. I'm sure they want to play for Birmingham but suely no one wants to live in Birmingham

Interviewer: You’ve made your name, Harry, as a bit of a wheeler and dealer, there’s not been much wh….
Redknapp: Na, na I’m not a wheeler and dealer, fu*k off. (Walks off). I am not a fu*king wheeler and dealer, I am a fu*king football manager.
An interviewer gets his banter with Harry Redknapp all wrong. In case you haven't seen the interview yet, here it is

ARSHAVIN CORNER

From Ertassov: Hello Andrey! I would like to say that you are my favorite footballer. I want you to come to Kazakhstan (Aktobe city) and support our team in the Champions League. All the best, Aidar.
AA: I can come with Arsenal and “kill” it ;)
Andrei with a lovely, warm response

From bulanmisha: “We've Got Arshavin, FUCK Adebayor!"
AA: I’ve heard that

From shmelkat: What are going to do after your football career? It’s Katya writing, 12 years old.
AA: Katya, it’s Andrey answering, 29 years old: I do not know ...
Just a bit tongue in cheek!

From www999: Hi Andrey, my question is: how can I improve my dodging technique?
AA: By working on it
Brilliant advice from Andrei

CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN

FEBRUARY: Qatari Fifa executive Mohamed Bin Hammam says he'll block Sepp Blatter's bid for a fourth term in the 2011 elections: "The time has come. Fifa needs an Asian president."

MAY: Sepp publicly backs Qatar's 2022 World Cup bid. "I strongly feel the World Cup should come to Qatar!"

AUGUST: Bin Hammam says Sepp deserves a fourth term. "Let me be very clear. I will be backing Sepp Blatter to remain in office. He is my very good friend!"' (Sepp says claims of a deal are malicious. "I have most certainly not made any sort of deal with Qatar. How could I? As president of Fifa I would never misuse my office!")


THOROUGH INSPECTION OF THE WEEK

New from Fifa's ethics board last week: a "full investigation" into allegations of player and staff abuse by North Korea after the World Cup. Fifa's method: asking North Korea if they abused their players and staff. The result: "North Korea assure Fifa that the reports were baseless ... Fifa has decided to close the matter."
What a great job they're doing there!

NUMBER CRUNCHING

£142m: The new annual "solidarity package" paid to Football League clubs – a record redistribution deal. "Premier League clubs take their responsibility for all levels of the game very seriously."

£130m: Man City's spending on transfer fees this summer, not including wages. City's Brian Marwood says criticism is "laughable". "People don't know the facts. This club needed the investment."

HYPOCRITS OF THE WEEK

21 Aug, Emmanuel Adebayor: "I am very happy to be part of this club. I know there are a lot of things being written that I will be leaving, but I am not. I love it at Manchester City."
27 Aug: "If a team comes in for me, I will leave. I must fight for myself."

23 Aug, Asmir Begovic, Stoke: "If a bid for me is accepted, that's a different story, but in the meantime I just have to get on with my job. Speculation is part and parcel of being a footballer. There's lots of talk, but at the end of the day you come to work and do your job."
24 Aug: Tony Pulis: "He said this morning he didn't want to play for us in the cup. I find that desperately disrespectful."

16 Aug, Barcelona director Andoni Zubizarreta: "There is nothing with Mascherano. In fact, he is a player who does not fit into our plans. He is a great player but there is nothing going on."
27 Aug: Signs him.

More quotes next week

Sports Picture #4

That's gotta hurt

Monday 30 August 2010

Review of the Week #4

Anyone who played the football pools this weekend was left in disbelief as the mighty wigan (conceded 18 in their last 3 league games) beat Spurs 1-0. It may have been that Spurs were tired after a midweek win over Young Boys but the result was still less likely than Neil Warnock saying how much he enjoyed the referee's performance.

Chelsea fans had to settle for 2 goals against Stoke (I swear I heard some Chelski fans saying they were going to go and support Man Utd as they put 3 past West Ham).

Tevez paid hommage to Ronnie Rosenthal against the Black Cats with an awful miss before Darren 'England's best striker but according to Capello not as good as Emile Heskey' Bent, stole 3 points in the 94th minute.

Villa got back to winning ways after being embaressed by Newcastle last week and Liverpool fans finally have something to smile about after they beat West Brom 1-0. Well done!

QPR got an unbelievable draw away at Derby as they scored in the 92nd and 95th minute to rescue a point...looks like it wasn't a good day robbie (those of a nervous disposition please don't watch this video...however if you enjoy seeing Robbie Savage making a tit of himself then go ahead).

Andy Hammil scored a great solo goal for Barnsley as they beat Middlesbrough 2-0 while Ipswich and Millwall continued their decent form to move into 2nd and 3rd below QPR in the table.

Edgar Davids has played at the Nou Camp, The Bernabau, The San Siro...and on Saturday made his Palace league debut at Scunthorpe's 9,000 seater Glanford Park. Scunthorpe seem to be the Eagles' bogey team as they ran out 3-0 victors and have now put 7 past the South London side in their last 2 encounters. One Palace fan on a forum joked 'I'm a bit worried that he (Davids) doesn't actually know who we are. Maybe someone showed him a picture of the team and he thinks he's signing for Barcelona'. While another pair of jokers had their say on the Dutchman's arrival:
Fan 1- "Him sitting in front of the Back 4 will be class"
Fan 2- "but he is so old he probably will be sitting in a deck-chair"
One fan on the BBS posted a brilliant picture of Edgar Davids buying his train ticket to Scunthorpe (bet he can't believe his luck!).

It's been crazy times recently at Southampton where their Chairman Markus Liebherr died earlier this month. Then today, after a 4-0 away win at Bristol Rovers, the club has decided to sack Alan Pardew as manager. Seems a harsh sacking since last year under Pardew the club won the LDV Vans Trophy, finished 1 place outside the play-off and have got off to a good start this season.

Outside of Football and a rollercoaster final test match saw England reduced to 102-7 before Broad and Trott put on a Test record stand of 332 to put England in the driving seat. England then went on to bowl Pakistan out for 74 however before they could claim victory on the final day, allegations about a betting scam surfaced and overshadowed what was a fantastic England win. The News of the World alleges that Pakistani players were secretly paid to deliberately bowl no balls. Its not the first time 'no balls' have been in the news this week. In a match recently between India & Sri Lanka, India needed 1 run to win with Sehwag on 99 not out. Sehwag hit a 6 off the final ball but Suraj Randiv had bowled a huge (rather suspect) no ball which won India the game and meant Sehwag's 6 didn't count. You can guess Sehwag wasn't exactly pleased.

Jenson Button crashed out of the Formula 1 race in Spa this weekend as Sebastian Vettel drove straight into him leaving Lewis Hamilton to win the incident packed race. Mark Webber finished second after an awful start but mainly thanks to Robert Kubica, who finishe third after he failed to stop correctly in the pit lane and almost ran over a mechanic.

Elena Baltacha (she's Britain's number 1 women's tennis player in case you didnt know...I didn't!) is into the 2nd round of the US Open after beating Petra Martic 6-2, 6-2. I'm not going to pretend to be interested in women's tennis, if only it was more like this.

I leave you with an absolutely brilliant interview between Harry Redknapp and a Sky reporter after Spurs were beaten by Wigan. Top Tip- Dont try cheeky banter with Harry Redknapp...Watch this

Check back next week

Sunday 29 August 2010

Video of the Week

Football reporter Jessica Kastrop gets a ball right on her head...

Sunday 22 August 2010

Can Murray finally go all the way?

Andy Murray is being tipped to go all the way at the US Open as the Scot is arguably in the form of his life at the moment. In the Toronto Master he swept to victory beating Rafael Nadal and Rodger Federer showing he has the ability to compete with the best in the world and the temperament to win the big matches instead of falling under pressure.


His loss to Mardy Fish in the week at the Cincinnati Masters in the midday heat seems to be a blessing in disguise as he will now have more time to prepare for the tournament at Flushing Meadows. Murray was runner up in 2008, losing to Federer in the final however the Brit has a favourable record against the Swiss and if he gets on the right side of the draw (avoids playing both federer and nadal) he’s in with a good shout.


Murray’s problem has always been his fitness. In 2005, during the first round of the US Open he was sick on court and the following year he struggled with an ankle injury. He has been criticised for not being fit enough to play 5 set matches consistently while players like Federer seem able to maintain their game even after hours on court.


Although there are those who dislike Murray due to his past comments about the English and the fact he constantly looks miserable, it appears now is the best time to be behind him as Britain actually has a fighting chance of winning a Grand Slam. Yes, he was taught how to play in a different country…Yes, he has the charisma of a dead ant but come on you doubters, be patriotic!


The Scot prefers the hard surfaces of Flushing Meadows as they suit his game but the real test will be whether he can sustain his current form. He must be prepared to play 35 sets without succumbing to fatigue and jump the final hurdle to become the first Brit to win a Slam since Fred Perry won the same tournament in 1936.

Video Collection

Sport in Comedy
From now on this slot will include a selection of videos around a certain suject. Gonna carry on with the 'sport in comedy' theme for this week

Harry & Paul on Women's Tennis



Family Guy doing Zinidine Zidane


Jason Manford on footballers


The legendary Two Ronnies with their squash sketch

Quotes of the Week #3

"The security challenges are enormous but we cannot allow the terrorists to win. They must lose by an innings - repeatedly."
Giles Clarke (England & Wales Cricket Board Chairman) with a lovely little cricket analogy

"It has been my dream to play my part in taking my hometown club to the Premier League."
Craig Bellamy on joining Cardiff. 'It's been my dream ever since Mancini told me to piss off'
"We made some good changes and I really believe that this can be our year."
Martin Skrtel getting ahead of himself. Let's be honest, if this is their year, they'll just make 4th place

"These people are clowns. I am dying with laughter."
Believe it or not, Nicola Anelka doesn't agree with the 18 match ban given to him by the French Federation after his disgraceful actions during the World Cup

"Wigan looked all over the place against Blackpool last weekend and I fear the 8-0 defeat against Chelsea on the final day of last season will play on their minds."
Sky Sport's Ed Chamberlin. Looks like it did. Wigan's last 3 Premiership matches. Scored 0. Conceded 18!

"This is football. Wigan got smashed at home by a team that everyone thought would be the whipping boys of the division, but maybe they'll go and give the champions a game this week."
Paul Merson. Maybe they will...or maybe they'll just be embaressed again (lost 6-0)

"I only realised I was on 97 today because my mum told me. She was only coming to see me get 100. She was off to the proms tonight, so I was glad I could get it before tea so she could get off!"
Graeme Swann after reaching his 100 England wicket

"Look, Darth Vader could come to Spurs. I don't care."
Beniot Assou-Ekotto on William Gallas. I wonder if Darth would get the same reception from Arsenal fans.

"John Terry is the captain of all team captains, he was born with the captain's armband on his arm."
Carlo Ancelotti. Born with it on until Fabio takes it after he sleeps with his mates missus

"I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don't half polish up great"
Ian Holloway still on good form.

HYPOCRIT OF THE WEEK

This Week: Alex Ferguson says about new signing Bébé, "I haven't seen him (Bebe) play...but other clubs were starting to hover on the boy so we made a quick decision and said 'Well why don't we go for it'"

Last Week: Fergie attacks reckless spending by rivals, "There's this kamikaze effort to spend money at some clubs. It's amazing".

TRANSFER NEWS

1st August, Mesut Ozil: "Only the facts count and the fact is I am under contract with Werder Bremen. I am a friend of honesty. I have always respected my contract and been happy to fulfil it. Why should not be any different?"

17 August: Joins Real Madrid

WORST EXCUSE
Harry Redknapp, Before match vs Bern: "The artificial pitch looks fine, a good surface, very good"

Harry Redknapp, After the loss vs Bern: "It's not an excuse, but I played on Astro Turf myself at QPR and hated every minute of it. I don't agree with Astro Turf".

FINALLY
Natalie Weber says she wont cash in on dating Lazio's Mauro Zarate. Weber, posing for a photo-shoot in a thong while lying on top of Zarate said, "We are a modest couple, not interested in showing off or posing for magazine photographs surrounded by our wealth. That would sully what we share: 100% love".

More quotes next week

Sports Picture #3

I know they say 'stay tight to the player you're marking'...but surely this is too close?

Review of the Week #3

So the big news at the start of this week was Craig Bellamy signing for Cardiff. The move has angered many in football as Cardiff are £15million in debt and still owe money to several clubs.

The Cardiff club shop had such a surge in Cardiff fans printing BELLAMY on their strips that the club shop rang out of the letter Y. Thousands of Cardiff supporters are looking forward to the debut of new star 'Bellam'.

However during the Football League Show's 'Send us your daft e-mails' section, one fan reckoned that a rise in shirt sales and attendances might pay off the debts. Do you know how many shirts you’d have to shift to make £15million quid you mug?
Cardiff are only paying Bellamy £10,000 a week which means Man City are now paying £50,000 a week (£2.5million a year) so that Bellamy (in my opinion their best player) doesn’t play for them. He must really be a bastard if you'd pay that much money not that have him around.


Man City have signed James Milner in a £24million swap as Stephen Ireland has moved to Aston Villa. Fair enough Milner is class, but I'd say Ireland is of equal quality while Barry has looked a shadow of his former self since leaving Villa Park. Ireland said that he was 'glad to be out of there. Milner is in for a shock'. Villa really shouldn't be too upset with £24million and Stephen Ireland.


Palace celebrated leaving administration by signing Edgar Davids. In response to another mug on the 'Send us your daft e-mails' section who wasn’t happy about Palace signing one of the greatest ever midfielders...if you're reading mate, the new owners do know what they are doing and we are not breaking the bank signing him. There's no pleasing some people.


Some Chelsea fans were expecting double figures after they destroyed West Brom last week and Wigan were put to the sword by Blackpool but they had to settle for 6-0. Wigan have now made the worst start to a Premier League season ever. Played 2, lost 2, scored 0, conceded 10!

Arsenal were rampant as they put 6 past Blackpool with Theo 'no end product' Walcott bagging a hattrick. It was a tough wake up call for Ian Holloways side but he was disappointed with a sending off which seemed harsh and 'was happy it wasn't 10'.


Tony Pulis was also unhappy with the referee as Jon Walter's 86th minute header looked to have crossed the line but it was not given. If only there was some way to tell if it did cross. Maybe some goalline technology or video evidence? That would surely be easy for the richest sport in the world? I think I might write a letter to Sepp Blatter.


With Walter's goal not gievn, Gareth Bale's stunning volley was the decider as Spurs triumphed 2-1. Serious contender for goal of the season already in my book.

With just 19 games played in the Premier League so far, 4 have now resulted in a 6-0 scoreline as Newcastle thrashed Aston Villa at St James’ Park thanks to a hattrick from Andy Carroll.

After completing 104 passes (the highest ever on an opening weekend), Paul Scholes’ continued his sparkling form with another goal but United were held to a 2-2 draw by Fulham as man mountain Brede Hangeland scored a last minute equalizer.


In the Championship, Cardiff demolished Doncaster 4-0 as Craig Bellamy scored a screamer on his debut and QPR went top with 100% record with a home win over Scunthorpe. Portsmouth carried on their disappointing form losing to Preston and Palace were unlucky to have Claude Davis sent off in a 2-1 home loss to Ipswich.


Leicester fans marked the arrival of their new Thai owners by coming up with possible chants. 'Can't Thai me love' and 'Live and let Thai' are absolute genius but their poor form continued with a 3-0 loss at Burnley.
In cricket, England lost the 3rd test to Pakistan after some woeful batting. Pietersen has gone from hitting 6's for fun to scoring 29 in 2 innings while Strauss only managed 19.


Andy Murray has warmed up for the US Open by losing to Mardy Fish in the Cincinnati masters. He beat Federer and Murray in his recent Toronto Masters victory so will fancy his chances of winning his first grand slam at Flushing Meadows. He could well do as long as he stays on court and off the kareoke.

Fabio Capello has been in the press after accepting tickets to the ryder cup, 9 days before England’s first Euro 2010 qualifier against Montenegro. Having seen tha North Korea's manager was punished with hard labour on a buliding site due to the countries poor World Cup performance, I wouldn't mind seeing Fabio clean a few streets after England's shocking campaign.

Ironically, 2 of the best players this weekend, Walcott and Bale, were both excluded from the World Cup squad by a certain Mr Capello. It's more bad press for the Italian, who amazingly earns around 500 times what Sir Alf Ramsey earned when in charge and is now under extreme pressure from the media.


In unimportant news, Abbey Clancy is apparently preparing to forgive Peter Crouch after he allegedly cheated on her with a teenage prostitute. I love Crouchy after one interview where he was asked 'what would you be if you weren't a footballer' to which he replied 'a virgin'. If this is true though, then he is an utter mug, cos lets be honest, she is not only stunning but way out of his league.


Check back next week

Friday 20 August 2010

Palace sign Davids

Crystal Palace officially came out of Administration today after months of financial trouble. Having gone into administration in January, Palace were docked 10 points and narrowly avoided relegation on the final day of the season. Now out of administration, the club's first move was to sign Edgar Davids earlier today.


The Dutch international has played at clubs such as Ajax, Inter, AC Milan, Barcelona, Spurs, Juventus and he now has the honour of adding Crystal Palace to his CV. Davids has won the Champions League, UEFA Cup & Serie A as well as being chosen by Pele to feature in the FIFA 100 Greatest living footballers. The move is on a pay-per-play basis and Davids said 'It's an exciting time for the club, and it is an exciting time for me. I just want to enjoy football and show what I can do'. The signing is more good news for Palace fans who have seen the club restored to health by CPFC2010, the consortium which purchased Palace. They'll be hoping that more good times lie ahead.


The new Palace owners- Martin Long, Steve Parish & Stephen Browett

Video of the Week

In the 1974 World Cup, Zaire were playing Brazil. Brazil got a free kick on the edge of the area and suddenly Llunga Mwepu did this...

the best bit is his reaction...'what was wrong with that ref?'

Wednesday 18 August 2010

Horrible Haircuts

Without trying to turn 433 into Grazia, here is the top 20 list of the worst haircuts sport has ever seen. Even the greatest sportsmen have gone for cuts which left us saying 'what were you thinking?', 'did you get in a fight with a lawnmower?' and 'has David James been cutting your hair?'


20
Danijel Ljuboja
Going for the 'badger cut'


19
Djibril Cisse
He's only going to attract spiders with that haircut


18
Ronaldo
He had to score twice in the 2002 World Cup final and get the golden boot to get everyone to forget the mess on his head


17
Carlos Tevez

He's ugly enough without looking like he's been attacked by a bear

16

Christiano Ronaldo

Someone give the boy a comb

15
Rio Ferdinand

You know you're in trouble when you start copying David James's hairstyles

14
Alan Biley
Bright blonde. Mullet. Horrible.

13
George Berry
An afro is fine but the ball could get lost in that...

12
David James
Just one of the many from Mr James

11
Chris Waddle
Missing THAT penalty against the Germans. BAD
This haircut. WORSE

10
Abel Xavier
The bleached cornrows are bad enough but that big piece of fluff down the middle gets this cut in the top ten

9
Barry venison
I've never seen a more feminine haircut on a man with a more masculine name

8
Rene Higuita
Always remembered for the Scorpion Kick, but suprisingly never for this awful haircut

7
Carlos Valderama
Carlos has got it all going on. Blonde perm/frizzy/looks like a novelty wig AND a different colour moustach

6
Dennis Rodman
Either Dennis is a fan of children's jigsaws or he's really pissed off his hairdresser

5
Noel Brotherston
Imagine the complete opposite of a mohican...

4
Leonardo Cuellar
The hair alone is not too bad...its the fact he looks like he's never seen a shaver, comb or bath in his life...not a good look
3
Harry Kewell
I have never in my life gone to the hairdressers and said 'I think I'd like to look like a woman today'

2
David James
So two entries in the top 20. No idea what cut it is, no idea what colour that is (ginger, yellow, tango mix)...just awful

1
Taribo West
So the no.1 spot goes to this monstrosity. Pictures definately speak louder than words here. 3 words...Bright, Green, Ponytail

So there you have it, the top 20 worst haircuts in sport. In case you're wandering, David James currently has an afro but I'll keep you up to date with that

Sport in Comedy

Harry & Paul's Football Manager. Genius.

Monday 16 August 2010

Quotes of the Week #2

"This is low as it gets. The position we are in at the moment is quite similar to when we didn't qualify for the European Championship."
Steven Gerrard

"Before anyone asks a question, I just want to make sure you can see me - you can see me here and I'm not a cardboard cut-out, because somehow or other, I'm not supposed to be here"
Ian Holloway responding to reports that he was to quit as Blackpool manager.

"But unfortunately I can't afford his left little toenail and I wouldn't insult Stoke by even going to them."
Holloway with another blinder about the possibilty of signing James Beattie

"For me, that was a perfect example of why cricket should adopt a yellow and red card system, as in football."
Bumble on Stuart Broad's actions as he threw a ball at the head of a Pakistan batsman

"I hope when David is okay he can play his last game here at Wembley in a friendly to say goodbye and thank you very much to the crowd."
Capello during THAT interview before the Hungary game

"David can hold his head up high for the service he's given to the England team."
Steven Gerrard. Here here.

"I'm not a fan of City's spending this summer. It looks like they've bought a lorryload of players and haven't thought about how they'll fit into a team. "
Paul Merson

Where's Toldo? Man City's spending is getting out of hand!


"Every time I go away with England, I always sit next to him for dinners."
Theo Walcott. What about getting him to teach you how to cross a ball theo?

"I'm as cross as a cross man in a cross shop. That's putting a light-hearted slant on it."
Brian Noble after his side's last-gasp defeat. That really is cross!

"I don't think any of us in our wildest dreams believed that we could come here and do that."
Ian Holloway. Neither did we Ian.

"I don't want to criticise referees but I think he's only been refereeing for four years and it looked like it."
Steve Bruce. Love it. 'Don't want to criticise him BUT...'

"Lee Cattermole has been sent off four times now and he's not played a lorryload of games; but he is the captain of the club and he can't be getting sent off - he's got to use his brain."
Harder said than done for a footballer. The great scholar Merson divining more football wisdom

"Rafa has had an unbelievable season so far so to beat him in the first big hardcourt tournament of the season is huge for my confidence."
Andy Murray. So that's what Benitez has been up to

ARSHAVIN CORNER
Hi Andrey! I just wanted to ask, if your daughter decided that her dream was to play professional football, would you encourage/support her in this?
Arshavin: I hope it will never happen.

Andrey, are you frightened of bears?
Arshavin: On the contrary, I like bears.

From 19garik78Hello Andrey. My name is Garik. I want to ask you something. I date a girl who is your big fan and admires you very much. She said she’d agree to marry me if I got her a photo, a poster or something like this with your autograph. If it’s not too difficult for you, could you please send me something? I’d be grateful for the rest of my life. Thank you in advance. My address, Stavropol region, Mineralnye Vody Lermontova str
Arshavin: Are you sure you won’t regret it? :)

If you have any quotes, stadium announcements or chants then please send them to browett_ben@hotmail.co.uk. Check back for more quotes next week...

Sports Picture #2

Forget the headbutt. Zidane pulling your ear and kicking you where it hurts most has to be more painful...

Sunday 15 August 2010

Review of the Week #2

Good luck comes to those who wait. Well, it certainly doesnt come to those who get promoted. Newcastle are welcomed back to the top flight tomorrow away at Manchester United while West Brom had to start away at Chelsea and were duly thrashed 6-0 (would have been a different score if the match was played in 5 weeks time). While on this topic, isn't it funny how of Man United's opening games in the previous 10 years, 8 have been at home...isn't it funny how Man United start and end this season at home just like the previous 3 years...so funny I can barely contain myself. But I digress...

There must be something about South Africa which players dont like as all those who didnt bother to turn up in the incredibly boring early rounds of the World Cup were knocking them in for fun this week. Everyone's favourite baby pleased Daddy Carlo with a hattrick, Malouda who was part of 'les imposteurs' scored twice and Gerrard stepped up when it didn't matter to score two blinders against Hungary (nice goals stevie but around the 60 minute mark agaisnt Germany would have been better timing).

Anyway, congratulations must go to Blackpool who spent an incredible 2 hours top of the premiership. Ian Holloway's dressing room posters saying 'If heskey can play for England, so can you' are obviously working on Marlon Harewood (I don't know if this is actually true).

Some players seemed to forget who they were during Arsenal vs Liverpool. David Ngog forgot he's David Ngog and actually scored a goal; Joe Cole suddenly thought he was Roy Keane in a moment of madness and Pepe Reina has obviously been taking goalkeeping lessons from this keeper.

Sportsman of the Week goes to Christian Poulsen and his agent. - 1st August- Poulsen's Agent "The Newspapers have no link to reality. Let me close this saga once and for all. He is staying in Turin. The constant stories make us tired. Christian will not join Liverpool". 12th August- Christian joins Liverpool.

The big news in the Championship was that Steve Coppell had walked out as Bristol City manager after 1 league game in charge however he was soon joined by Kevin Blackwell who resigned after his Sheffield United side lost 3-0 at home to QPR. Millwall sit just above QPR at the top of the table after thrashing Hull 4-0 and Palace fans sung their hearts out away at Barnsley but lost 1-0 as they failed to find the net.

Outside football, Tyson Gay ran the second fastest 100m ever in Britiain (9.78seconds) at Crystal Palace although more remarkable is journalists reluctance to use his first name in headlines. I have to admit, I was pretty shocked before I realised they were talking about the sprinter, when I read- 'GAY WINS IN STYLE'.

Andy Murray beat Rafael Nadal 6-3, 6-4 in the Semi-Final of the Toronto Masters and was evidently so overwhelmed in the interview he thought he'd act like a family member had just died. Come on Andy...you don't have to be a comedian but a smile would be nice!

So a pretty exciting start to the Premier League and sport elsewhere. Check back next week.

Friday 13 August 2010

Video of the Week

Ezequiel Calvente scoring a penalty for Spain against Italy in the u21 championships using his standing foot to deceive the keeper...

Thursday 12 August 2010

Premier League Predictions

So the Premier League starts in 2 days time and its going to be another rollercoaster ride. There's been big news in Martin O'Neil leaving Villa, Man City have spent a ridiculous amount of money on overrated players as expected and time will tell whether new rules regarding homegrown players will affect the league. So how are the clubs chasing the league title and those aiming to avoid relegation going to do..

ARSENAL: Chamakh on a free is a great signing and a great bit of business. The striker who has had a great pre-season is guarenteed to score more goals than barn-door Bendtner and with Robin Van Persie fit Arsenal may finally have an end product. They've managed to keep Fabregas but are still a little weak at the back for my liking and without a proven goalkeeper. 2nd

ASTON VILLA: It's going to be a hard season for Villa. No signings can replace the loss of Martin O'Neil and they are yet to replac-e Gareth Barry. Their best player at present looks set to follow Barry to Man City meaning that a lot of pressure will be on youngsters Young and Agbonlahor to produce the goods. 8th

BIRMINGHAM: They've spent £12m on 2 players but they seem to be good signings. Ben Foster is a good replacement for Joe Hart in goal and 6ft 7" Nicola Zigic has an excellent goalscoring record. They are in for a good season. 7th

BLACKBURN: Haven't really strengthened and Big Sam will struggle to keep up with the other clubs this season.11th
BLACKPOOL: Really hope they stay up as no one has really given them a chance and Ian Holloway deserves to be a Premier League manager. They were the dark horse last season in the Championship and could pull off a shock. They'll give it a good go but will just fall short. 18th

BOLTON: Spent very little money but Petrov from Man City and Blake from Burnley on frees could prove to be decent signings. A slight improvement on last season. 12th

CHELSEA: The million dollar question is who will win the league. Not particularly impressed by any of their signings and I think they will struggle as Man United will be out to put the upset of last season behind them. 3rd

EVERTON: Getting Jermain Beckford on a free was good business but David Moyes will have to wait and see whether he can cut it at this level. Have been consistently performing above their expectations but not one of their better seasons. 9th

FULHAM: My second club and a fantastic season last time out as they reached the final of the Europa League. After that success and losing Hodgson its going to be tough. They have £10m from Chris Smalling but are yet to make any signings except for Greening and Senderos who are not going to light their season up. 13th


LIVERPOOL: The most important signing is Roy Hodgson since he can use his man manager skills to get through to those under performers in his squad. He's managed to keep Gerrard and Torres, Joe Cole is a great signing and Poulson will add strength at the back. 4th



MANCHESTER CITY: Its hard to predict City's season since it all depends how their players mix together. They already have class in Adebayor and Bellamy and Yaya Toure and David Silva add to this attacking lineup but they still look too weak at the back and Mancini doesnt seem to possess the skills to get these players playing like they can together. 5th


MANCHESTER UNITED: Will still feel gutted about last season and some good signings in Smalling (paid too much though) and Hernandez will mean they pip Arsenal to the title. 1st

NEWCASTLE UNITED: Gosling is a decent signing but they've bought 1 player and will struggle this season. Sol Campbell is well past his best and they will leak goals without strengthening their back line. Just survive. 17th

STOKE: Signed Kenwyne Jones for a record fee and are difficult to beat. 10th

SUNDERLAND: I don't know what they were thinking signing Titus Bramble and losing Jones leaves a big gap up front. They lack a proven goalscorer and it will be a tough season. 15th

TOTTENHAM: Will struggle a little in the league due to extra matches (Champs League) and a stronger Liverpool and Man City will mean the slip down the table. 6th

WEST BROM: Myhill is an excellent keeper and Shorey is a good player but havent spent enough to survive. 20th


WEST HAM: Have spent money and Hitzlsperger on a free has plenty of experience. Will survive again but its rebuilding at Upton Park. 16th

WIGAN: Spent quite alot of money but not very well and they will struggle again this season. They've loaned Jason Koumas to Cardiff which seems a bad move since he could do a job in their midfield and they lack a 15 goal-a-season striker 19th

WOLVES: Spent money on a range on positions. Mick McCarthy is building a solid outfit at Molineux and they will do slightly better than last season. 14th

So to sum up
The top 6:
Man United
Arsenal
Chelsea
Liverpool
Man City
Spurs
Relegated
Blackpool
Wigan
West Brom
Top Scorer
Will take a punt and say Van Persie


So there we go, we'll see if any of that actually happens over the season. It's gonna be exciting...

Wednesday 11 August 2010

Sport in Comedy

A new feature, when sport is used in comedy sketches...here is Mitchell and Webb's brilliant parody of the endless football on Sky Sports

Tuesday 10 August 2010

Quotes of the Week #1

Here is the first Quotes of the Week section that'll be running from now on. If you hear any please send them to one of the adresses on the sidebar...

"I am a man with warm blood and now I'm used to the cold in the north."
Nani when asked about life in the North. Between Portugal and Manchester I know which I'd choose

"We've tried for Rooney, Ronaldo and Messi, but they haven't returned our calls yet."
Steve Coppell after Bristol City were linked with Michael Owen

"Players are only world class if they play to the best of their ability. If not, they are only world-class names. "
Roy Hodgson gives his Liverpool players something to think about. Roy for the England job!

"You can't be happy when you are not there. I always want to be there, no matter what happens. Actually, I did have a tear to be fair with my cousin and my mate. Then I played the best golf ever."
Theo Walcott when asked about not being included in the World Cup. His crazy golf is getting really good though!

"I need to feel loved when I am on the pitch."
Joe Cole. Someone give him a hug!

"It's a jigsaw, we need far too many pieces and the picture isn't on our box lid. We were expecting a different box."
More incredible interviews from Ian Holloway about the upcoming season in the Premier League. Absolutely no idea what this means

ARSHAVIN CORNER
For those who haven't already read it, Andrei Arshavin answers a weekly 'Q & A with Andrei' on his blog. Here are some of the best...

From DavidBeckhamHello Andrey. I’d like to ask you an obvious question that you’ve probably heard more than once before. Do you know a football player (who plays football now or played it in the past), who plays (played) football just like you, or a footballer you want to play like? I personally play in David Beckham’s style, I am not his idol, although I like the way he plays. He can kick the ball diagonally 40-80 meters away right at his teammate’s feet, though of course it is not everything he can do. Thanks in advance for your reply! Good luck in the English championship!
Arshavin: You are not Beckham’s idol? :)

From NikeMercurialHello! What shall I do to stop worrying when I come out on the pitch? When I play I often get confused ... I beg you - give me advice !!! You'll help me a lot, thanks in advance and good luck to you.
Arshavin: Stop worrying :)

From ZhenOKAndrey , how did you learn to manage the ball so masterfully?
Arshavin: I’ve been socializing with the ball for quite a while and we became friends :) But seriously, this is by nature.

From adar7My girlfriend has very touching feeling towards your butt, how have you managed to achieve such a result, share your secret, she also likes your arms and legs!
Arshavin: I got it from my parents. Doesn’t she pay any attention to your coxofemoral joints and limbs? ;)

So there you have it for this week, check back for more quotes next week

Monday 9 August 2010

Sports Picture #1

This one has done the rounds but is an absolute beauty!

Sunday 8 August 2010

Review of the Week #1

This is the first Review of the Week where I'll be going through all the stories and events in the World of Sport (mainly football) during the week. Click on the links for articles, videos and the odd song...

Should I stay or should I go was the problem facing Darren Ambrose a week ago but the midfielder stayed at palace and his 20 yard strike helped Palace beat Leicester 3-2. The spotlight was taken by Wilfred Zaha who scored on his debut and is one for the future (you heard it here first!). QPR topped the table with a crushing win over Barnsley as 'One Size' Fitz Hall netted and although its too early to say I told you so, Pompey were easily beaten by Coventry as Football's favourite gypsy Freddie Eastwood scored twice.

David James's hairstyle couldn't help him keep out Millwall in his first game in goal for Bristol City and there was irony in abundance at Elland Road where Nigel Clough beat Leeds (if you haven't seen 'The Damned United' you should be ashamed). John Bostock, or 'Judas' to any Palace fans, scored a blinder for Hull as they beat Swansea and my predictions were dealt a blow as Notts Forest lost to relegated Burnley. A man of the match performance from the Ginger Ninja Paul Scholes helped United to a 3-1 win over Chelsea with United's second coming from Hernandez. The player tripped and kicked the ball onto his own face before it went in, the kind of goal Frank Spencer would have scored.

In other news, Paul Robinson has quit international football. The keeper never managed to retain his place after the moment he forget he left the cooker on against Croatia while Wes Brown (the most overrated player ever after Phil Neville) has also hung up his boots. Man City have said they're closing in on James Milner and Balotelli. Reminds me of those adverts you see in the middle of the day...'Are you an overrated, overpriced international footballer? Has Martin O'Neil made you a good player? Are you a twat? If so, we at Manchester City would like to sign you! Remember, we are 'no win, lots of fees!'

Outside of football, England are on the verge of thrashing Pakistan who were bowled out for 72 in their first innings with a batting display monty panasar would have been proud of (where did he go?) with Monty's fellow spinner Graeme Swann took 6 wickets in Pakistan's second innings. England's male hockey players (I know its normally a girls sport but it is interesting to watch) are into the final of the Champions trophy thanks to an amazing goal from James Tindall.

Should be more interesting next week as the Premier League gets under way...as Delia would say...let's be having you!

Friday 6 August 2010

NEW SEASON!!!

Tomorrow is the start of the new season and the end of a painful period without football. Obviously this year we were lucky enough to have the World Cup but everyone knows that club football is what it is all about and personally I am more relieved than Fabio hearing of Heskey's retirement that this time is upon us once again.

The Premier League does not start till next week but that gives us time to analyse the teams and make our predictions. As for the Npower Championship, it is always an incredibly hard league to call especially on last years evidence as Blackpool gained promotion. My tips (I wouldn't rush to the bookies with these) are:

Promotion: Middlesbrough, Notts Forest
Play Offs: Leicester, Reading, Leeds, Palace
Relegated: Barnsley, Doncaster, Portsmouth

Ok, so maybe that last play off spot is slightly biased and that last relegation spot is a punt but it could happen, you never know! Wow, I'm almost as excited as this smug prick...