Funny Sports Picture #5

Seeing as it's the open at the moment

McClaren says something sensible!

Believe it or not, Shteve McClaren has said something quite sensible in the press by saying that a lack of first team football for England's youngsters is the reason behind the struggles of the national team. Having won the dutch league with FC Twente last season, the new Wolfsburg coach said 'Simply, I do not think our top talents play enough in the Premier League. They need to play more but they are not getting the oppertunity'. Obviously Steve has been reading the blog. Well said Shteve...although I still have no respect for you after the Croatia game and that interview

Wolly with a brolly

Watch Shteve making a complete tit off himself here

Heskey announces International retirement

In an announcement that will shock millions and leave a massive hole in England's attaking options, Emile Heskey has decided to retire from Internation football. The whole nation is now in mourning...

ONLY JOKING!

With his retirement, it looks like we can actually pick a player on merit now and this opens the door for other strikers who have yet to make an impact in the England team such as Agbonlahor, Bent and Moses (you heard it here first). All in all, Heskey has been a significant member of the England team for many years but 7 goals in 62 caps is just so poor for a striker in this team (2 goalkeepers have scored more international goals than he has http://bb433.blogspot.com/2010/06/interesting-statistics.html)

During the Togo Bus Shooting, 100 shots were fired but only 3 were on target. Police are now questioning Emile Heskey

Henry leaves Barca for new York

Thierry Henry has signed for MLS side, the New York Red Bulls. In a brilliant piece of irony, the former Arsenal player is set to make his debut against Tottenham in the US on 22 July. It hasn't been great for Henry since leaving Arsenal. He fell out of favour at Barca before being criticised for cheating in World Cup qualifying and being present in a French side which failed miserably at the World Cup. With Beckham, Ljunberg and Henry the MLS is very much becoming the 'if you're old, famous, not that good anymore and would like lots of money league'. Au revoir Thierry!

Fabregas in Barca shirt

The Spain team showed there sense of humor in a prank that wont have pleased many Arsenal fans. The side who beat Holland 1-0 in the World Cup the other day were celebrating their victory through the streets of Madrid when Puyol (who plays centre back for Barca) pulled the shirt over his head. Fabregas later said 'These are things that happen at special moments. I don't think it should be gone on about much more because it was just another anecdote of a great night, a great celebration'. Sounds like he's already booked his flights

Dutch Coach criticises Webb

Netherlands manager Bert Van Marwijk has criticised Howard Webb for his refereeing display in the World Cup Final. The dutch coach said 'I don't think the referee controlled the match well. Both sides committed fouls. That may be regrettable for a final'. What an asshole!

He tells his side to go out and kick every spanish player into the air and then has a go at the referee for not letting the game flow. Bert should count himself lucky his side weren't down to 9 men at half time...it could have then been a different story. If there can be any criticism for Webb, it would be that he didn't send De-Jong off for the shocking tackle when he kicked Alonso in the chest.
The dutchman saved his best quote for last though. 'We did a good job tactically on them'. Yeah, what brilliant tactics...kick them alot, hope no one gets sent off and score a goal on the break. I'm just glad the dutch lost and football won

Spain World Champions

So Spain were the winners in the end and become the 3rd country in history to hold both the European Championships and the World Cup.

To be honest, it was a win for football as Van Bommel and his mates gave Howard Webb a nightmare game to ref

World Cup success in hands of FA and Prem

I still maintain that if Lampard's goal had stood (Uruguayans haven't made a great name for themselves this World Cup with crap refs and cheating strikers) then it would have made a different second half between England and Germany and we could have gone on to sneak a win. The fact remains however that even though we were unlucky, we were well beaten by an experienced, skillful and pacey German side; faster than a Stephen Gerrard upper cut and with goals that Emile Heskey can only dream of scoring. Obviously the post match analysis blamed Capello, the formation and the desire of the players...but why is it that this young German side looked so comfortable against a team of apparently world beaters?

For starters, the Premier League must use a quota whereby each club must have a certain amount of home-grown players in the squad. Many young English players are missing out on the chance to gain match experience and play at a high level due to the large number of foreign players. Last September, Premier League Chief, Richard Scudamore announced that all Premiership clubs, from next season, have agreed to new rules on home-grown players where at the end of each transfer window every club must name at least 8 players who have been registered with English or Welsh clubs for at least 3 seasons between the ages of 16 and 21. The Football league have followed suit but with 10 home-grown players per club.

Scudamore said 'It will encourage youth development and the promotion of young players'. A recent survey showed that English clubs employ the highest proportion of expatriate players with 59.2% coming from abroad.The Bundesliga has had a quota for several seasons now which has seen German players play league and Champions League football regularly at a young age therefore giving them confidence and experience.

A similar area where the Premier League can learn from the Bundesliga is the financial situation of its clubs. In Germany, a club is not allowed to start the season if it is in debt, therefore reducing the number of big-money foreign signings and encouraging the development of players through the youth system. This in turn contributes to the quota and ultimately saves the club money. Due to this, the Bundesliga has overtaken the Premier League as the most profitable league. A report has shown that while the Premierships revenues are £1.98billion (£500million greater than the Bundesliga) its operating profit was half that of the top German league. As a consequence, youngsters are developing faster than in England and the extra profit can be pumped back into the system to find rising stars.

When I wasn't screaming at the television, I couldn't help but notice during the match how suited the German players were to their formation...or rather, how suited the formation was to them. With their 4-2-3-1, Oezil is allowed pick the ball up and run at goal with options in the form of Klose, Podolski and Schweinsteiger (where Gerrard should have been). Schweinsteiger (who was awesome against Argentina) was able to skip through our static 4-4-2 with ease (where Lampard should have been) and Klose playing up by himself could make runs and shoot first time (where Rooney should have been). With a talented squad, Joachim Low showed how important it is to chose a formation that suits the players you have and not the kind of football you want them to play (hope you're making notes Fabio!)

The Germans are so dangerous when they counter attack, as England found out in the second half and this is partly due to the clinical finishing of Miroslav Klose. The Bayern Munich striker had an awful season scoring just 3 goals however he already has 4 in this tournament and represents the importance of having a proven international striker. England's best World Cup in recent years in 1990 saw Gary Lineker win the Goldent Boot. Klose, before this tournament, had 10 goals in 2 World Cups...Rooney now has 0 goals in 2 World Cups.

Germany lost to Spain in the semi-finals but represent the kind of team England could have if the English Leagues change their rules and the team is managed with the players in mind. That quarter final showed us what the England team could look like in four years time when this 'Golden generation' have moved on...we'd be fools not to take note.

Semi Finals

Been very busy so haven't written about the semi finals up till now...I'm sure you watched them anway but here's a quick summary in case you have no life...

Holland march on

The Dutch are looking good to win their first ever World Cup. The best country never to win the tournament went ahead with a 30 yard stunner from Giovanni Van Bronckhorst but were pegged back when Forlan's strike wasn't stopped by the Dutch keeper. The Uruguays were without Suarez after he cheated Ghana out of the Semi Final spot and were as good as out when Holland scored twice in 3 minutes. First Sneijder's shot took a deflection to take the lead for Holland before Robben's accurate header guarenteed their place in the Final

Puyol heads Spain into the final

Carlos Puyol headed Spain into the final of the World Cup 17 minutes from the end to put Germany out. Germany were very defensive throughout realising Spain's presence when passing the ball along the floor and came close on several counter attacks. In a game where Torres only played a brief camio at the end, Spain's defence was too resiliant and it took a defender to come up with the winner which means they play Holland in the final on Sunday

Mahut

The French tennis player Mahut, who lost after over 11 hours and 5 minutes of play at Wimbledon this year is to be awarded the Legion D'Honneur, as his effort beats the previous French resistance record of 6 hours, 42 minutes in May 1940

Semenya free to compete

South African Caster Semeya has been given the all clear to return to competition after a gender test was taken after the 19 year old became the 800m World Champion

Can't think why they were suspicious...

Funny Sports Picture #4

Argentina side at the 2002 World Cup

Nadal new king of Wimbledon

Rafael Nadal has won Wimbledon for the second time beating Tomas Berdych 6-3, 7-5, 6-4 in a relatively one-sided final. Rafa has now taken the SW19 crown which for so long belonged to Roger FedererIn a match where neither player looked like getting to the net, Nadal's ground strokes were just too strong for the Czech and he won several crucial points to break Berdych in the first set and in the final game of the second. Having won the match, Nadal fell to the floor knowing that he is World No.1 and the player to beat...

Emile Heskey

The guy is an inspiration, you've got to admire Emile Heskey, He has a disastrous world cup, gets slated by everyone, comes home, puts a frock on and wins Wimbledon. Fair play to the lad!

Cheerio Diego!

There have been some brilliant characters in the World Cup over the years but this year Maradona was forever the main talking point, bouncing around on the touchline looking ridiculous in his suit. Here are a few of his World Cup Highlights:

• 20th May- Diego arrives an hour late to announce his 23 man squad. While entering, he drives his car over a photographer's foot, 'What an arsehole you are!' he shouts. 'How can you put your leg there where it can get run over'. He excludes Zanetti and Cambiasso who go on to win the Champions League final 2 days later. He included Ariel Garce, a 4 cap defender who's side finished 13th in the Argentinian League and has already made plans to travel to South Africa as a fan


• 23rd May- The press don't like the team Diego picks to play Canada but after a 5-0 win, Diego says 'I don't care what you people think about me as a manager. I couldn't care less. I've got my 23 players and I'm ready to die with them'


• 23rd May- He is asked about his new beard. He says 'I grew it because my dog almost ate my mouth and left me a big scar'. It later emerged that Diego startled the dog by trying to kiss it and later had to undergo plastic surgery


• 10th June- With 2 days before Argentina's first game, reporters ask Diego how he has been sleeping. 'You must ask this question of my girlfriend' he replies. 'Because she would tell you that she wakes up every night to find me writing down players' names'


• 16th June- Pele and Platini have reportedly criticised Maradona's coaching ability. Diego reacts saying 'I would tell Pele to go back to the museum. I'm not suprised by what Platini said. I always had a distant relationship with him. We all know what the French are like and Platini is French. He thinks he is better than the rest. I pay no attention. These two- have they nothing more important to do than talk rubbish about me?'
  

• 17th June- A journalist asks, in English, about Maradona's effectionate embraces for his players (he hugged and kissed every player as they entered and left the stadium). The loose translation provokes a wide-eyed response. 'No! I like women! I'm dating Veronica. She is 31. She is blonde. She is very pretty'
  


• 22nd June- After their 2-0 win over Greece, Diego said 'I would ask all FIFA directors to stop talking about me and to start working on having a proper football. This ball is useless. It's impossible to control'


• 26th June- Diego has a go at the Argentinian journalists who wrote off his side in qualifying. Having beaten Uruguay to clinch qualification in October, Maradona told the pundits to 'take it up the arse', then grabbed his crotch and said the worlds media should 'suck it and keep on sucking'. FIFA banned him for 2 months. He says 'I am a grown up, an adult, I don't hold grudges. But what makes me mad is when people lack respect'


• 28th June- Diego says that Messi's treatment by opposition sides is similar to his treatment by hardman Claudio Gentile in the 1982 World Cup. Gentile responds saying 'I have to agree with Pele and Platini. Maradona is a charlatan not a coach. I have never been sent off for violent play- just the once for handball. He's just a baffoon'


• 1st July- Germany's Bastian Schweinsteiger says Argentina are 'disrespectful' and 'bully referees'. Diego replies in his best German accent 'What's the matter Schweinsteiger? Are you nervoushh?' Schweinsteiger goes on to be Germany's best player as they thrash Argentina 4-0
  

It's sad to see such a character leave the tournament but although he is a laugh, lets be honest, he's a bit of a mug...

Quarter Finals 3 & 4

German youngsters destroy Diego's men

The Germans scored 4 goals for the third time in five games as they put Argentina out of the World Cup with a thumping victory. Muller gave Germany the lead after only 3 minutes connecting with a free kick and Klose went close soon after. Argentina had chances after half time with Tevez and Di Maria going close but Loew's side reacted well as Podolski squared for Klose to finish. Friedrich put the result beyond doubt after a brilliant run by Bastian Schweinsteiger and Klose got his second with a volley from an Oezil cross

Villa snatches victory for Spain

David Villa scored his 5th of the tournament to give Spain a place in the Semi Finals (they have only ever reached the semi-finals once in 1950!) The relatively boring game had one incredible passage of play as the favorites before the tournament got lucky as Paraguay's Oscar Cardozo missed a penalty. From the miss, Spain counter attacked and Alcaraz fouled Villa to give the Spanish a penalty. Alonso scored but the referee ordered a retake which the Spaniard then missed. Valdez was seen on his knees praying and eventhough they were answered, there was nothing he could do to prevent Villa equalling the Spanish record of 5 goals at a World Cup

Funny Sports Picture #3

The moron himself tries his hand at Cricket. Look at the direction the bat is facing and look at where his eyes are looking haha

Quarter Finals 1 & 2

Ghana robbed by Suarez
Ghana were cruelly put out of the World Cup having looked set to become the first African team to reach the semi finals of the tournament in its history. Muntari got the whole of Africa on its feet when his 40 yard strike hit the back of the net however Diego Forlan carried on his brilliant form with an excellent free kick. The game went to extra time and in the last minute of extra time, Ghana swung a free-kick into the area. Ghan's shot was cleared off the line but the rebound was headed goalwards and when it looked like Ghana had done it, Suarez jumped and punched the ball off the line. The striker was duly sent off and Ghana awarded a penalty but the cheat prospered as Ghana missed their chance to win the match as Gyan smacked his penalty over the bar. Gyan then stepped up in the penalty shoot-out and hit the best penalty of the tournament (oh the irony) but his side went onto lost 4-2

Brazil put out by Holland
The Dutch have a real chance of winning their first World Cup after a 2-1 win over Brazil. Robinho opened the scoring but Holland bounced back with a Melo own goal from a free kick. Dutch fans were sent into histerics as an unmarked Shneider headed home to give Holland the lead. Melo was then sent off for a malicious challenge on Robben with Holland holding on to book their semi final place

The most hated footballer

Ashley Cole made a foul mouthed rant about England and its 'people' days before flying out to Sith Ifrica for the World Cup. The message which he set as his status and sent to friends said 'I hate England and the f***ing people'. He then went and pissed off supporters even more when he was pictured laughing and joking with teammates hours after England were embaressed by Germany.Cole received criticism when he left Arsenal for Chelsea and made it even worse when he wrote in his autobiography about Arsenal's contract offer of £55,000 a week 'taking the piss'. He now earns more than £90,000 a week at Chelsea. This is a man who is such as moron he cheated on Cheryl Cole with a hairdresser...is she not fit enough Ashley?Ashley's new girlfriend is an ex-lap dancer who looks quite like cheryl (although much less attractive) named Sarah Purnell. The 23 year old from Birmingham met Ashley in a London nightclub and slept with him the same night after he wooed her with a McDonalds takewaway...wow what a sophisticated bloke he is!

The Gillette Curse

You may or may not have seen this advert for Gillette Phenom including Tiger Woods, Thierry Henry and Roger Federer, released in early 2008...

Quite interesting to see what these famous sports stars have been up to since making this advert:

TIGER: Cheated on wife with 10 women...lost custody of children and paid $750million in the divorce

HENRY: Used his hand (twice!) to help France beat Ireland in the World Cup qualifiers. It got worse as his French side went out at the group stages in disgrace with 1 point

Here's hoping Federer keeps his head down the rest of the year...