Quotes of the Week #6

"We're only seven points off the top and the table is about as meaningful as an Oasis lyric."

Swindon FanZoner Christopher Panks

"No doubt I'll give him a bit of banter if he plays. There is a good chance he will get slaughtered. He normally gets quite a bit of stick anyway."

Phil Jagielka on Rooney.

"I might visit him in his hospital bed with some fruit maybe"

David Haye on his plans after his fight with Audley Harrison

"Aston Villa have got themselves a very good manager and I am not surprised Gerard has come back into the Premier League."

(Stephen) Gerrard on Gerard (Houllier)

"Let's put it to bed straightaway. I am not discussing any of my players' personal lives."

Alex Ferguson with a poor choice of words on the media surrounding Rooney

"The most important thing about the table is the end of the season, not now"

Avram Grant. But will you still have a job come the end of the season Avram?

"Since coming here he has not fulfilled that potential"

Hodgson on Babel. Basically, he's been sh*t

"We've only won it three times, which is not enough for this club, and we've been unlucky a lot of times. Other times we've just ballsed it up."

Alex Ferguson on Champions League hopes.

"He's a good goalkeeper and he needs to react like a man."

Grant on Rob Green. So it's just you then Avram who thinks he's a good keeper

FIFA THIS WEEK

Best use of Fifa World Cup income so far: four former Nigeria FA executives bailed on charges of embezzlement and financial mismanagement. Among the alleged spending: £520,000 on travel costs to South Africa for 47 delegates plus 173 "friends and girlfriends", with 1,263 complimentary tickets for "associates". All four deny the charges.

2018 NEWS

Russia's sports minister Vitaly Mutko says "disrespectful" English press have overplayed a one-off racist banner at Lokomotiv Moscow in an attempt to hurt Russia's bid. "Their focus is excessive".

Other one-offs since 2007:

• 20 Russia fans wear Ku Klux Klan hoods at a game against Poland
• Spartak fans greet their new black signing with a "Monkey go home" banner;
• Fans take a "Happy Holocaust" flag to a game against Jewish club Maccabi Moscow;
• Zenit fans lynch a toy black monkey; Zenit coach Dick Advocaat says: "I'd sign anyone, but the fans don't like black players";
• Andre Bikey reveals he carried a gun during his time with Lokomotiv: "It is very hard to be black there";
• And anti-football racism campaigner Ilya Dzhaparidze is stabbed to death - one of 71 neo-Nazi murders in 2009.

(Fifa's view: racism is "not an operational matter" so is "not a factor" in assessing 2018 bids.)

HYPOCRIT OF THE WEEK

Rio Ferdinand – says young pros are too focused on money and forget what matters. "Too many young lads get a contract and think they are set up for life. I was never content - I was always setting myself goals to play more football." Last time Rio wasn't content: 2005 - demanding a new £100k-a-week contract months after finishing an eight-month suspension for going shopping instead of taking a drugs test. Wages earned by Rio while suspended: £2.4m.

JUST SPECULATION

Wed 8 Sept: Nigel Adkins on links with Southampton: "Speculation like this just shows we're doing things right. I am ambitious and there will come a day when I walk out of here – but who knows when that will be? I am totally focused on Scunthorpe United."

Thu 9 Sept: Agrees terms with Southampton

SCANDAL OF THE WEEK

Bolivia say claims that half their U15 Youth Olympic Games winning side was over-age are "outrageous". Montenegro coach Sava Kovacevic said: "I couldn't stop thinking they looked like big boys. The keeper was a very big boy." Bolivian FA: "These allegations harm our boys' dignity. Maybe some forms were filled in wrong – but that's all."

LOVE NEWS

Argentinian press say actress Brenda Asnicar is ready to marry Carlos Tevez after a series of "love lockdowns" in discreet hotels. Asnicar, 18, says claims she is money-motivated are "unkind". "I know our love intrigues people," says Asnicar. "But we fit: I am a diva, and he is a footballer. He is a beauty, too!"

A beauty? Have you seen Carlos Tevez?

More quotes next week