Quotes of the Week #5

"He is available now for about £8million. He is a quality player. He is a Dutch international and a great fotballer. "
Harry Redknapp on Rafael Van der Vaart. What a wheeler and dealer

"It was something that wasn't meant for the public domain and I apologise for it entering the public domain and I also want to apologise for the language I used."
Kevin Pietersen after his foul-mouthed rant on twitter. You do know the public can view your twitter page kevin?

"Four years at Spurs, for 11million euros, I can hardly believe it myself."
Rafael Van der Vaart happy to be at Spurs. That's around £90,000 a week, I'm not suprised he's pleased

"You've got your team-mates working their nuts off for 90 minutes and the last thing they need is for the goalkeeper to go and do something stupid."
Joe Hart. *cough* Rob Green *cough*

"The team hasn't been picked yet, but obviously I relish that position on the pitch where I can get forward and support the attacking players."
Stephen Gerrard. Wish you could have played that kind of role in the World Cup

"The referee, we know, is just from a couple of hundred yards' breaststroke down the river from here, from Corfu. Uefa have saved on expenses on this one, it's not too far from here."
John Toshack after Wales's loss to Montenegro. The referee was Greek which happens to be right next door

"He's had a lot of close matches with top players before so I'm going to have to play very well to win that one"
Andy Murray. He played like a retard

"The public want to see one final high-profile destruction of Audley Harrison, and I'm only too happy to do my duty for the British people."
David Haye not lacking in confidence

"I have worked too hard to be beaten by someone of the calibre of Audley Harrison. I am not only going to beat him, I am going to humiliate him, I am going to destroy him and I am going to retire him."
David Haye. I reckon he thinks he might win this fight

"He has the mentality of a 15 year old"
Pakistani cricketer Afridi on Yasir Hameed who backtracked about remarks he made on the spot betting cricket scandal

GENEROUS FIFA

New from Sepp: a pledge to release emergency aid from Fifa's Special Projects Fund to help Pakistan's football infrastructure recover. Sepp: "Contributing to alleviate suffering and maintain human dignity after disasters within the football family is a responsibility Fifa takes very seriously."

Last time Fifa used their £559m fund to aid disaster relief: February – sending £1.9m to Haiti.

Four months later: Sepp gives £45.5m in one-off bonuses to Fifa member associations, ahead of next year's elections. "Just call it a gift!"

CALM DOWN DEAR

June: Reports of low season-ticket sales are malicious, says a Manchester United spokesman: "We are very happy. Anybody who is saying there has been a poor uptake is lying."

August: United miss their season ticket sales target by over 2,000; other figures show their debt now includes £236m owed to hedge funds. United: "The bare facts are that the club is in good financial shape."

NUMBER CRUNCHING

£45k: Welling United's outstanding tax debt – the club given 14 more weeks to pay it or face being wound-up. "The club will pursue all avenues to raise the necessary finance."

40: Number of hours it takes Yaya Touré to earn £45,000 in basic salary at Man City.

BEST WHEELER DEALER

Harry Redknapp, early on deadline day: "I thought it was April Fools' Day with some of the players we've been linked with. We're not doing anything today."

End of deadline day: "Van der Vaart was going for £18m. Suddenly it became an awful lot cheaper."
Even after Harry explicitly said he wasn't a wheeler dealer

CHAIRMAN OF THE WEEK

Nicola Cortesa, Southampton.
May: Says press claims of a developing rift with manager Alan Pardew were an attack on their "mutual trust". "This speculation could be interpreted as a deliberate attempt to unsettle both the club and Alan. Without exception it is ill informed."

August: Sacks him

More quotes next week