Sunday, 29 August 2010

Video of the Week

Football reporter Jessica Kastrop gets a ball right on her head...

Sunday, 22 August 2010

Can Murray finally go all the way?

Andy Murray is being tipped to go all the way at the US Open as the Scot is arguably in the form of his life at the moment. In the Toronto Master he swept to victory beating Rafael Nadal and Rodger Federer showing he has the ability to compete with the best in the world and the temperament to win the big matches instead of falling under pressure.


His loss to Mardy Fish in the week at the Cincinnati Masters in the midday heat seems to be a blessing in disguise as he will now have more time to prepare for the tournament at Flushing Meadows. Murray was runner up in 2008, losing to Federer in the final however the Brit has a favourable record against the Swiss and if he gets on the right side of the draw (avoids playing both federer and nadal) he’s in with a good shout.


Murray’s problem has always been his fitness. In 2005, during the first round of the US Open he was sick on court and the following year he struggled with an ankle injury. He has been criticised for not being fit enough to play 5 set matches consistently while players like Federer seem able to maintain their game even after hours on court.


Although there are those who dislike Murray due to his past comments about the English and the fact he constantly looks miserable, it appears now is the best time to be behind him as Britain actually has a fighting chance of winning a Grand Slam. Yes, he was taught how to play in a different country…Yes, he has the charisma of a dead ant but come on you doubters, be patriotic!


The Scot prefers the hard surfaces of Flushing Meadows as they suit his game but the real test will be whether he can sustain his current form. He must be prepared to play 35 sets without succumbing to fatigue and jump the final hurdle to become the first Brit to win a Slam since Fred Perry won the same tournament in 1936.

Video Collection

Sport in Comedy
From now on this slot will include a selection of videos around a certain suject. Gonna carry on with the 'sport in comedy' theme for this week

Harry & Paul on Women's Tennis



Family Guy doing Zinidine Zidane


Jason Manford on footballers


The legendary Two Ronnies with their squash sketch

Quotes of the Week #3

"The security challenges are enormous but we cannot allow the terrorists to win. They must lose by an innings - repeatedly."
Giles Clarke (England & Wales Cricket Board Chairman) with a lovely little cricket analogy

"It has been my dream to play my part in taking my hometown club to the Premier League."
Craig Bellamy on joining Cardiff. 'It's been my dream ever since Mancini told me to piss off'
"We made some good changes and I really believe that this can be our year."
Martin Skrtel getting ahead of himself. Let's be honest, if this is their year, they'll just make 4th place

"These people are clowns. I am dying with laughter."
Believe it or not, Nicola Anelka doesn't agree with the 18 match ban given to him by the French Federation after his disgraceful actions during the World Cup

"Wigan looked all over the place against Blackpool last weekend and I fear the 8-0 defeat against Chelsea on the final day of last season will play on their minds."
Sky Sport's Ed Chamberlin. Looks like it did. Wigan's last 3 Premiership matches. Scored 0. Conceded 18!

"This is football. Wigan got smashed at home by a team that everyone thought would be the whipping boys of the division, but maybe they'll go and give the champions a game this week."
Paul Merson. Maybe they will...or maybe they'll just be embaressed again (lost 6-0)

"I only realised I was on 97 today because my mum told me. She was only coming to see me get 100. She was off to the proms tonight, so I was glad I could get it before tea so she could get off!"
Graeme Swann after reaching his 100 England wicket

"Look, Darth Vader could come to Spurs. I don't care."
Beniot Assou-Ekotto on William Gallas. I wonder if Darth would get the same reception from Arsenal fans.

"John Terry is the captain of all team captains, he was born with the captain's armband on his arm."
Carlo Ancelotti. Born with it on until Fabio takes it after he sleeps with his mates missus

"I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don't half polish up great"
Ian Holloway still on good form.

HYPOCRIT OF THE WEEK

This Week: Alex Ferguson says about new signing Bébé, "I haven't seen him (Bebe) play...but other clubs were starting to hover on the boy so we made a quick decision and said 'Well why don't we go for it'"

Last Week: Fergie attacks reckless spending by rivals, "There's this kamikaze effort to spend money at some clubs. It's amazing".

TRANSFER NEWS

1st August, Mesut Ozil: "Only the facts count and the fact is I am under contract with Werder Bremen. I am a friend of honesty. I have always respected my contract and been happy to fulfil it. Why should not be any different?"

17 August: Joins Real Madrid

WORST EXCUSE
Harry Redknapp, Before match vs Bern: "The artificial pitch looks fine, a good surface, very good"

Harry Redknapp, After the loss vs Bern: "It's not an excuse, but I played on Astro Turf myself at QPR and hated every minute of it. I don't agree with Astro Turf".

FINALLY
Natalie Weber says she wont cash in on dating Lazio's Mauro Zarate. Weber, posing for a photo-shoot in a thong while lying on top of Zarate said, "We are a modest couple, not interested in showing off or posing for magazine photographs surrounded by our wealth. That would sully what we share: 100% love".

More quotes next week

Sports Picture #3

I know they say 'stay tight to the player you're marking'...but surely this is too close?

Review of the Week #3

So the big news at the start of this week was Craig Bellamy signing for Cardiff. The move has angered many in football as Cardiff are £15million in debt and still owe money to several clubs.

The Cardiff club shop had such a surge in Cardiff fans printing BELLAMY on their strips that the club shop rang out of the letter Y. Thousands of Cardiff supporters are looking forward to the debut of new star 'Bellam'.

However during the Football League Show's 'Send us your daft e-mails' section, one fan reckoned that a rise in shirt sales and attendances might pay off the debts. Do you know how many shirts you’d have to shift to make £15million quid you mug?
Cardiff are only paying Bellamy £10,000 a week which means Man City are now paying £50,000 a week (£2.5million a year) so that Bellamy (in my opinion their best player) doesn’t play for them. He must really be a bastard if you'd pay that much money not that have him around.


Man City have signed James Milner in a £24million swap as Stephen Ireland has moved to Aston Villa. Fair enough Milner is class, but I'd say Ireland is of equal quality while Barry has looked a shadow of his former self since leaving Villa Park. Ireland said that he was 'glad to be out of there. Milner is in for a shock'. Villa really shouldn't be too upset with £24million and Stephen Ireland.


Palace celebrated leaving administration by signing Edgar Davids. In response to another mug on the 'Send us your daft e-mails' section who wasn’t happy about Palace signing one of the greatest ever midfielders...if you're reading mate, the new owners do know what they are doing and we are not breaking the bank signing him. There's no pleasing some people.


Some Chelsea fans were expecting double figures after they destroyed West Brom last week and Wigan were put to the sword by Blackpool but they had to settle for 6-0. Wigan have now made the worst start to a Premier League season ever. Played 2, lost 2, scored 0, conceded 10!

Arsenal were rampant as they put 6 past Blackpool with Theo 'no end product' Walcott bagging a hattrick. It was a tough wake up call for Ian Holloways side but he was disappointed with a sending off which seemed harsh and 'was happy it wasn't 10'.


Tony Pulis was also unhappy with the referee as Jon Walter's 86th minute header looked to have crossed the line but it was not given. If only there was some way to tell if it did cross. Maybe some goalline technology or video evidence? That would surely be easy for the richest sport in the world? I think I might write a letter to Sepp Blatter.


With Walter's goal not gievn, Gareth Bale's stunning volley was the decider as Spurs triumphed 2-1. Serious contender for goal of the season already in my book.

With just 19 games played in the Premier League so far, 4 have now resulted in a 6-0 scoreline as Newcastle thrashed Aston Villa at St James’ Park thanks to a hattrick from Andy Carroll.

After completing 104 passes (the highest ever on an opening weekend), Paul Scholes’ continued his sparkling form with another goal but United were held to a 2-2 draw by Fulham as man mountain Brede Hangeland scored a last minute equalizer.


In the Championship, Cardiff demolished Doncaster 4-0 as Craig Bellamy scored a screamer on his debut and QPR went top with 100% record with a home win over Scunthorpe. Portsmouth carried on their disappointing form losing to Preston and Palace were unlucky to have Claude Davis sent off in a 2-1 home loss to Ipswich.


Leicester fans marked the arrival of their new Thai owners by coming up with possible chants. 'Can't Thai me love' and 'Live and let Thai' are absolute genius but their poor form continued with a 3-0 loss at Burnley.
In cricket, England lost the 3rd test to Pakistan after some woeful batting. Pietersen has gone from hitting 6's for fun to scoring 29 in 2 innings while Strauss only managed 19.


Andy Murray has warmed up for the US Open by losing to Mardy Fish in the Cincinnati masters. He beat Federer and Murray in his recent Toronto Masters victory so will fancy his chances of winning his first grand slam at Flushing Meadows. He could well do as long as he stays on court and off the kareoke.

Fabio Capello has been in the press after accepting tickets to the ryder cup, 9 days before England’s first Euro 2010 qualifier against Montenegro. Having seen tha North Korea's manager was punished with hard labour on a buliding site due to the countries poor World Cup performance, I wouldn't mind seeing Fabio clean a few streets after England's shocking campaign.

Ironically, 2 of the best players this weekend, Walcott and Bale, were both excluded from the World Cup squad by a certain Mr Capello. It's more bad press for the Italian, who amazingly earns around 500 times what Sir Alf Ramsey earned when in charge and is now under extreme pressure from the media.


In unimportant news, Abbey Clancy is apparently preparing to forgive Peter Crouch after he allegedly cheated on her with a teenage prostitute. I love Crouchy after one interview where he was asked 'what would you be if you weren't a footballer' to which he replied 'a virgin'. If this is true though, then he is an utter mug, cos lets be honest, she is not only stunning but way out of his league.


Check back next week

Friday, 20 August 2010

Palace sign Davids

Crystal Palace officially came out of Administration today after months of financial trouble. Having gone into administration in January, Palace were docked 10 points and narrowly avoided relegation on the final day of the season. Now out of administration, the club's first move was to sign Edgar Davids earlier today.


The Dutch international has played at clubs such as Ajax, Inter, AC Milan, Barcelona, Spurs, Juventus and he now has the honour of adding Crystal Palace to his CV. Davids has won the Champions League, UEFA Cup & Serie A as well as being chosen by Pele to feature in the FIFA 100 Greatest living footballers. The move is on a pay-per-play basis and Davids said 'It's an exciting time for the club, and it is an exciting time for me. I just want to enjoy football and show what I can do'. The signing is more good news for Palace fans who have seen the club restored to health by CPFC2010, the consortium which purchased Palace. They'll be hoping that more good times lie ahead.


The new Palace owners- Martin Long, Steve Parish & Stephen Browett

Video of the Week

In the 1974 World Cup, Zaire were playing Brazil. Brazil got a free kick on the edge of the area and suddenly Llunga Mwepu did this...

the best bit is his reaction...'what was wrong with that ref?'

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Horrible Haircuts

Without trying to turn 433 into Grazia, here is the top 20 list of the worst haircuts sport has ever seen. Even the greatest sportsmen have gone for cuts which left us saying 'what were you thinking?', 'did you get in a fight with a lawnmower?' and 'has David James been cutting your hair?'


20
Danijel Ljuboja
Going for the 'badger cut'


19
Djibril Cisse
He's only going to attract spiders with that haircut


18
Ronaldo
He had to score twice in the 2002 World Cup final and get the golden boot to get everyone to forget the mess on his head


17
Carlos Tevez

He's ugly enough without looking like he's been attacked by a bear

16

Christiano Ronaldo

Someone give the boy a comb

15
Rio Ferdinand

You know you're in trouble when you start copying David James's hairstyles

14
Alan Biley
Bright blonde. Mullet. Horrible.

13
George Berry
An afro is fine but the ball could get lost in that...

12
David James
Just one of the many from Mr James

11
Chris Waddle
Missing THAT penalty against the Germans. BAD
This haircut. WORSE

10
Abel Xavier
The bleached cornrows are bad enough but that big piece of fluff down the middle gets this cut in the top ten

9
Barry venison
I've never seen a more feminine haircut on a man with a more masculine name

8
Rene Higuita
Always remembered for the Scorpion Kick, but suprisingly never for this awful haircut

7
Carlos Valderama
Carlos has got it all going on. Blonde perm/frizzy/looks like a novelty wig AND a different colour moustach

6
Dennis Rodman
Either Dennis is a fan of children's jigsaws or he's really pissed off his hairdresser

5
Noel Brotherston
Imagine the complete opposite of a mohican...

4
Leonardo Cuellar
The hair alone is not too bad...its the fact he looks like he's never seen a shaver, comb or bath in his life...not a good look
3
Harry Kewell
I have never in my life gone to the hairdressers and said 'I think I'd like to look like a woman today'

2
David James
So two entries in the top 20. No idea what cut it is, no idea what colour that is (ginger, yellow, tango mix)...just awful

1
Taribo West
So the no.1 spot goes to this monstrosity. Pictures definately speak louder than words here. 3 words...Bright, Green, Ponytail

So there you have it, the top 20 worst haircuts in sport. In case you're wandering, David James currently has an afro but I'll keep you up to date with that

Sport in Comedy

Harry & Paul's Football Manager. Genius.